Do you remember the time when we liked someone so much, we didnt care if they would ever like us back. We enjoyed the idea of just having a crush and we didnt mind if it crushed us. We went along with that feeling irrespective of what anyone thought. Then when did we suddenly turn into this generation of cold, calculating, ‘mature’ people? When did we build these walls around ourselves, so high and so strong, that we wont tear them down for anyone. When did we start looking out for what would serve us more and just pushed aside our feelings of genuinely loving and wanting someone.
I have no idea when that happened and how, all i know is why. Because..
- It’s easy !
And that’s the underlying reason behind almost every decision we make. If its easy, then it’s got to be the right thing to do. The relationship flows as it is, and we flow with it, nothing to learn, nothing new and nothing to make us better or worse. Easy to be in, is reason enough to stay.
- Because it doesn’t make us question ourselves
If something doesn’t challenge you, be it your relationship or work, it wont help you grow. And surprisingly, a a lot of people want just that. It works for them as long as they don’t have to self- introspect on their way of living, their ideals, their goals, their behavior. We’ve stopped wanting to get better and we’re well settled into the mindset that we’ve been following all this while, so much so that if anyone disagrees with it, we decide its time to say goodbye.
- We’ve been through enough to know what’s good for us
We’ve definitely been through almost everything that relationships can teach us and that’s what our teen years are filled it. But that doesn’t mean we’ve been through it all. Judging our future prospects on the basis of someone screw up in the past or because of what we’ve heard people do is in no way justified. And its not fair to you either. You’re depriving yourself of so many could have been’s.
- We’ve done too much and now its our turn to be pampered
We’ve either given too much or waited too long, either way now its our turn to sit back and be showered with love. Huh ? Where’s the sense in that ? Just because you’re drained out or you’ve given incessantly to someone, doesn’t mean it gets carried onto the next phase and now you can sit back and relax.Things don’t work that way, they won’t ever work that way. You’ll be passing up something really good just because you assumed this is karma paying its due’s.
- We have no time to be vulnerable
We’ve done it all, grown up and out of it and moved onto better times. We’ve been in a passionate relationship or two and we’ve had our fun. Now it’s time we be highly practical and extensively examine all our future relationships. The pro’s and cons and all the risks that it may possibly entail 10 years down the line. We overanalyze something so far off without even beginning to get to know it. After all, we have no time to get our hearts broken and re-mended.
So yeah, we’ve become these people, in some way or another. We’ve made our relationships a business deal and our partner is just someone who serves our needs and pampers our ego. We do what little we can from time to time, because we can’t let this good thing go now, could we? We’re become selfish and self-fulfilling, so long as we’re happy at the end of the day.
We have to start un-needing, to start involving ourselves and start giving, without calculating the returns. We need to go back in time and pick up a lesson or two.
Take risks and love hard. Break down your own walls so that people may come along and see the real you. Don’t waste time with mind games. Just go with what you feel. And feel entirely when you do. Give off your time, your attention, your help, your advice; whatever someone else may need, be that for them. In your friendships and relationships.
Do something even though you know that it wont benefit you directly in any way. Eventually you will see that it does, in a much better way, although indirectly.